Happy Valentine’s Day!

After making our failed attempt at “Fit for 14” public knowledge, and basically admitting that I have been a lazy fat ass for the past couple of months, I have begun to go to the gym a little bit more. I credit this in part to my last blog post, but also in part to the fact that my roommates (A.K.A. my Mom and sisters) and I added TLC’s hit program My 600lb Life to our list of weekly shows. Each Tuesday we gather in the TV room with our ice cream, Dove bars, or Klondike Bars, and get inspired by the show. Do I go to the gym every day? No that’s just unhealthy. Plus if I went every day that would mean I would have to wash my hair everyday and everyone knows you aren’t supposed to shampoo every day because it strips the natural oils from your hair making it dry and frizzy. But today I went to the gym and as I was running on the treadmill at an incredibly fast rate of speed (…Ok I was jogging….fine I was walking…Ok you got me, I just happened to be standing on the treadmill) a commercial came on about Valentine’s Day. Woof. This company was advertising a four-foot giant fuzzy teddy bear, saying it was the perfect gift for that “special woman” in your life. I thought to myself “are you kidding me?!” If I had a boyfriend and he gave me that I would break up with him. What the hell am I supposed to do with an obnoxiously large teddy bear? Sleep with it in my arms in my twin bed? There is no room! I like to sleep on an angle!  And where am I supposed to store that thing after Valentine’s day is over? There are a lot of people living in this house so we have no room for a big fat teddy bear. And I hate clutter so chances are I’m just going to get rid of the thing. One of these days when I get a boyfriend (Fingers crossed!) I am going to ensure that he knows the key to my heart is through my stomach. Get me a nice steak dinner, some chocolates, an Edible Arrangement (I will only accept the ones with the chocolate covered strawberries or marshmallows) or ice cream. Give me something I can actually use not some inanimate object.

I may not have a boyfriend, but I am not one of those people who are bitter about Valentine’s Day. I enjoy the day just as much as couples do. I just simply like to remind people who are celebrating the day of love about the historical events that occurred on February 14th. Like the St. Valentine’s Day massacre that took place in Chicago in 1929 or how St. Valentine was actually beheaded on February 14th, just to name a few. What can I say, I’m a History buff. I mean really it should be a day of mourning and remembrance, just saying, but no I guess no one asked me.

Here is the shirt I plan to buy myself when I get a boyfriend

Here is the shirt I plan to buy myself when I get a boyfriend

Love is in the air at the Kelly house I guess with my brother and sister both engaged. Thank God I own the movies Father of the Bride and My Big Fat Greek Wedding to help mentally prepare myself. I keep telling my parents to enjoy all the wedding buzz while they can because I have a feeling we are going to go through a bit of a wedding dry spell after this. In all honesty, I just don’t have time for a boyfriend right now with my schedule the way it is. I get up, empty the dishwasher, watch Inside Edition while eating either salsa and chips or Triscuits and Kraft Singles, and there goes my day! Then I eat dinner and Full House is on Nick at Night from 7-10, followed by Friends so my nights are packed as well. Having a boyfriend would make introducing myself to people a little easier though. Instead of saying “Hi my name is Kathleen, I am unemployed and have no boyfriend. Yes I do realize I look about 14 but I am actually 22” which is what I usually have to say, if I had a boyfriend I could say something along the lines of, oh I don’t know, “Hi my name is Kathleen, I have no job but I do have a boyfriend and to quote the Beatles love is all you need so I am over the moon” But that’s just an example.

One of these days I plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day with my significant other. Until then I will keep working on “Fit for 14” and keep my eye out for Mr. Right. This year, since it falls on a Friday I am going to celebrate with some good friends and a bottle (maybe two) of the finest wine money can buy-Barefoot Mascato and I will be happy.

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