My mom kept asking me to give her my birthday list, but when you are a sophisticated 20 something such as myself, its hard to come up with things. It was so much easier when I was younger to make my birthday list because I always asked for the same 4 thing for about the first ten or twelve years of my life:

1. Moon Boots

2. Go cart

3. Mini Trampoline

4. Stilts

What can I say, I was an adrenalin junkie in my younger years. Nothing gives you a rush quite like jumping on a mini trampoline or strapping on a pair of stilts to be closer to the ceiling. And what is better than feeling the wind in your hair as you drive an obnoxiously loud go-cart? Unfortunately I never got anything on that list. I was such a deprived child. I think my parents were trying to suppress my thrill-seeking personality. Or they knew that all those things were junk and I would get tired of them in about 3 days. Who needs those toys anyway? Instead we Kelly kids made our own fun. On hot summer days we would get into our swim suits and go running through our neighbor’s sprinkler system. Nothing screams “The family with all those kids down the street are a bunch of Hill Billys” quite like running around someone else’s property while they try to water their grass. Other days we would set up elaborate traps to try and catch bunnies. And by elaborate I mean we would put a carrot in a box in the backyard and watch from the window to see if any rabbits would fall for our trick. Those damn rabbits outsmarted us every time though. Other days we would climb the tree next to our house with a pair of binoculars in hand and blatantly spy on the neighbors. We took “Neighborhood Watch” to a whole new level. On outings to the mall we would run into stores and pose like the mannequins in the store front window. My Mom was smart and kept a good distance away from us when we did that.

This year it was very hard to come up with things to ask for. I knew I wanted a new bathing suit for the summer (Not to run through other people’s sprinkler systems though) so I decided to look through the Victoria’s Secret Catalog that came in the mail. Sheesh what a mistake that was! How am I supposed to pick out a bathing suit when all of the models are in those ridiculous poses? No one sits on the beach like that! I can’t pick out a super cute swim suit when they are all contorting their bodies like that, it’s distracting!! I don’t even know why I was looking through the Victoria Secret Magazine though, I would be better off finding a bathing suit in the Limited Too catalog since I pretty much have the body of a 12 year old.

 I did get myself a quite wonderful gift though. You see, for Christmas Santa got me a gym membership, and for my birthday Kathleen canceled it. I know what you all are thinking. Wah this girl is lazy, she has no self-discipline. And you know what I have to say to that? You’re right. But I ‘m sorry, I just like myself too much to be the type of person that belongs to a gym. I just don’t believe I deserve that sort of  punishment. I like to keep myself happy and I like to keep my running shoes looking like new. Plus there are just not enough hours in the day to work AND work out. I had to choose one or the other. The job brings home the bacon so that stays.  Also Bridget and I started re-watching all the episodes of the O.C. so that take precedence over everything.

What I really wanted for my birthday money can’t buy:

1. Smaller ear lobes (Ok maybe money can buy plastic surgery but ain’t nobody got time for that!)

2. The super power “Stretchy limbs” so I never have to get up to get anything ever again

3. A job that pays me just to live my life and have fun

4. And of course, an unlimited supply of “Bear Claw” cake that I can eat and not get fat.

I have come to terms in my 23 years of life that I will never get these things. Its ok though, as long as I have chocolate, I know things are going to be ok.