The second Saturday in April was my sister’s wedding, and let me tell you, it was quite the blast. The festivities started on Thursday where we decided to be basic white betches and get mani/pedis at a nail salon while drinking wine. Unfortunately, I do not think the poor nail technician that was doing my sister’s pedicure knew what a tough job he was in for. As I looked over I saw him pull out a large file that looked like it came out of my Dad’s toolbox, and then he went to town on her feet. Not wanting to embarrass my sister we all turned away and pretended we didn’t see…just kidding, we all called her out and laughed. I would have snapped a picture but I didn’t want to spill my wine.
Friday was a very busy day. We had to clean the house and finish up preparations for the wedding. I hope EVERYONE appreciated the purple bows on the mass booklets because that was the work of my mom, my sister Bridget and myself. My mother was really cracking the whip on us with the bows. In fact, I think she might have been a factory manager in her past life the way she was putting us to work and not allowing breaks. I felt like a child in a sweat shop before they passed the child labor laws in America. My fingers are still sore from all the bows I tied. It was very hard to please my mother with the bows as well.
Me: Mom, how does this bow look, is this ok? (trembling)
Mom: Oh that’s fine sweetie…you know what, we’ll just put that one towards the back. It’s fine.
Despite all this I would still say I had a great day. This is because I did not go to work and as I told my father, any day not at work is a great day.
Friday night was rehearsal dinner where I was sure to NOT make the same dessert mistake I made at my brother’s rehearsal dinner. You see, this time around the desserts that were offered were cookies and chocolate covered strawberries. I went with the cookie and boy was I glad I did. There were so many chocolate covered strawberries left and the cookies went in a blink of an eye! Plus I am not a huge fan of chocolate covered strawberries-I just don’t like to mix business with pleasure, ya know? After dinner we all went to bed pretty early since we had an early start the next morning. As we were going to bed I went to turn the humidifier on in my bedroom since I was suffering from a horrific cough. Jane, my roommate, selfish requested that I not use the humidifier because it quote “messed up her hair” and she wanted to look her best on the day of the wedding. I was just appalled. Leave it to a youngest child to be more selfish than a middle child like myself. But, being the martyr that I am I suffered and did not use the humidifier that night. I was hacking like a coal miner the day of the wedding but Jane’s hair looked great so that’s all that matters right?
Saturday we were up bright and early getting our hair and makeup done. There is nothing quite like getting bobby pins shoved into your scalp by a hair stylist to wake you up in the morning. Once there was blood dripping from my head I knew my hair would stay in place all night and look great. After my face was on and my hair was done I put on my bridesmaid dress and damn, did I look good. I credit this in part to the extra padded bra I had purchased for this very occasion. The tag on the bra claimed the bra would make you look so good that it would “stop traffic” which I though would come in handy in case the limo parked across the street from the church. I felt like a little bit of an impostor with the bra on, I’m sure everyone knew I was a fake, but it helped keep my dress on seeing as the dresses were strapless and I have the body of a 9 year old girl.
Once everyone was all dolled up we headed to the church for the mass. My sister decided against having the “love is patient, love is kind” reading at her wedding and I don’t blame her. After my performance of that reading at my brother’s wedding back in November I thought it should be retired too. I don’t think anyone could fill my shoes in reading that passage. The mass went pretty smoothly-no one tripped walking up or down the aisle so that is always a blessing. I was the first bridesmaid to walk down the aisle so there was a lot of pressure on me to look pretty and not mess up. Luckily looking pretty and not messing up comes naturally to me. Just like my performance of the love is patient reading I nailed the walk. After mass, we went in peace to love and serve the Lord and take a million pictures. My face hurt from smiling almost as much as my head hurt from having those bobby pins drilled into my skull.
After mass it was time to party at the reception. And party we did. I brought my selfie stick to document the whole reception which was a great idea. Took a lot of gems. In fact I’m not even sure why my sister hired a professional photographer when she knew I was bringing my selfie stick. I could have saved her a couple bucks.
The celebrations went well into the wee hours of the morning. I was so tired when I got back to my hotel room to go to sleep that I didn’t even take the bobby pins out of my hair or wipe off my makeup. Because of this the next morning I woke up and my pillowcase looked like the cloth Veronica used to wipe the face of Jesus.
Having 2 siblings get married in 5 months was a bit much for us, but it was also a lot of fun. Thankfully, me and my 2 sisters, the 3 old maids left in the family, made a pact to spread out our future weddings over a longer span of time (Please pray that we get married. Please Lord let us get married). I’m not sure what we will talk about at the dinner table now that both weddings are over. Actually it will probably be what we talked about before-Duke and the neighbors. Life will be back to normal I guess!