2017 was quite an amazing year for the Kelly family. Yeah, there were a lot of babies born, but that’s old news. We had a lot of exciting things happen in 2017, it was a Hell of a year! Here are the top five from 2017:
- Mo Got an Instagram
A couple of months ago, my mom came home and said to me, “You know, the aunts were telling me at lunch today about this APP (Over pronunciation of the word “APP” because she’s still getting used to the word) they have on their phones where they can see all of the nieces and nephews photos? Shoot, I’m blanking on the name right now….” “Are you talking about Instagram?” I replied. “Oh YES! That’s it! Can you help me set that up on my phone? Then I’m going to need a few lessons of course” She said with a wink. Being the wonderful daughter that I am, I cleared my schedule for the remainder of the day, for I knew this would not be a quick lesson, and I sat on the couch next to my mom to teach her the basics of Instagram. We set up her account and I helped her gain a few followers, I didn’t want to throw too much at her too soon. I even helped her with her first post, which she was thrilled about. “Great! So what do we do now?” She said “Wait for the photo to get over 100 likes?” I started laughing when she said this because she had about 10 followers at the time. Oh, I had so much to teach her. Mo’s Instagram proved to take up a lot of my time in 2017. Sometimes I felt like a landlord with a needy tenant when it came to my mom’s Instagram.
Unfortunately my mom had the misconception that because I was a seasoned “Instagramer” I knew the names of every single person in every single Instagram photo. “Now who are all these girls in the photo here with your cousin Momo?” My mom said to me as she shoved her phone in my face, pointing to the Instagram post. “Mom, that’s a photo of her and her entire sorority, I don’t know any of those girls.”
She also became very selective with her followers. Mo had zero patience for people who posted too many times a day or posted too many pictures of their kids. “Kathleen, I think I’m going to need a lesson on UNFOLLOWING some of these people” She said one day while on the couch, glasses on, looking at her phone. I could hear the annoyance in her voice. “It’s like your kids are cute but I don’t want to have to look at pictures of them numerous times a day!”
- We tackled a lot of new shows
While my sister Jane was home for the summer, her, my mom and I spent a lot of time watching some good shows in the basement. The three of us liked to watch pretty disturbing television, whether it’s a super juicy Dateline, 20/20 or a creepy documentary. This summer we tackled the Netflix series The Keepers together. Being a typical Baby Boomer, my Mom claimed she “didn’t know how to set up the Netflix” AKA she was being lazy. “Ok you girls go down to the basement and set up the Netflix and let me know when it’s ready and I’ll head down.” We always did what the boss told us but for some reason it always took her forever to come downstairs. This often left Jane and me sitting waiting in the basement staring at the paused opening credits. “MOMMMMMM!!!!” I’d yell up from the basement. “Where are you? We told you like five minutes ago that everything was ready to start.” “Ohhh sorry sweetie!” She’d yell back down “I thought we were waiting on Kathleen.” “THIS IS KATHLEEN YELLING UP TO YOU.” I’d respond “Oh, ok be right down!” After she said this we could hear her moving around upstairs doing whatever she thought needed to be done before she started the show with us. Then we’d hear the basement door open and she’d yell down, “DOES ANYONE WANT A PUDDING CUP?”
- The location of the Tupperware was moved
One day I opened the drawer where we have kept the Tupperware FOR YEARS only to discover that it was empty. “What happened to all our Tupperware?” I yelled. I began to panic. I knew our Tupperware supply was dwindling due to the fact that SOME PEOPLE don’t know how to return Tupperware (Not to name any names but it’s my older siblings) but we couldn’t be completely out?? I need Tupperware! I’m like a depression baby, I always save part of my meal for later! Without Tupperware my leftovers wouldn’t stay fresh! Finally my mom responded to my cries. “Oh yeah, I couldn’t STAND the Tupperware in that drawer so I moved it to the pantry.” She said angrily. The pantry?? That was way too far away. My dad and I were not pleased with this move, and we made our feelings known. “Mom!” I said, “You can’t just keep changing things on us! First you switch us from a hand towel to paper towels in the first floor bathroom and now you move the Tupperware on us?! It would be polite if you consulted your roommates on these things first!” “I don’t know, Mo” My Dad said, “I don’t think this new location is going to work.” Because my mom has a heart of stone, she ignored our concerns. Now my father and I have struggled to get used to getting our Tupperware from the pantry. It’s been tough, but I think it will stay in that location for 2018 as well.
- I got new carpet in my room
Sometimes, I feel like I am walking on a cloud when I’m in my room my new carpeting is so plush. My landlords surprised me one day by telling me they were replacing the carpet in my studio apartment upstairs. I was thrilled until I found out that I had to help take out the old carpeting. “Um, excuse me but I am not a boy and taking out carpet seems like a boy task.” I said. “Also, I feel like you are taking advantage of me as tenant just because I am your daughter. Would you ask an unrelated tenant to help you take out the carpet? I don’t think so.” They both gave me a fake laugh and my mom called me a smart ass while my dad handed me a pair of gloves. Apparently child labor laws don’t apply in Ma and Pa Kelly’s Old Maid Boarding House.
- We gained a new roommate-Cardboard Jane
My sister Jane decided to abandon us and live in Prague for the last couple of months of 2017, which made my parents sad. Being the awesome roommate that I am, I ordered a cardboard cutout of Jane. It can be exhausting being the glue that holds this family together sometimes. Was it expensive? Yes. But it paid for itself in all the memories we made with Cardboard Jane.
This is the reason I cannot be left alone and need parental supervision at all times, I go and do dumb stuff. But Cardboard Jane turned out to be very popular! Although her personality was a little flat, Cardboard Jane was a great listener and was super easy going, she just went where ever anyone carried her, unlike Prague Jane who went to a different country to get away from her family.
Yup, 2017 was one for the books. 2018 has some big shoes to fill, but I can’t wait to see what it has in store for us!