Mike and Kath Say “I Dewey”

When COVID forced us to postpone our wedding, Mike and I decided, “OK, let’s have two weddings instead.” Are you confused yet? Well, welcome to the year 2021. Sit tight as I try and explain.

When we made the tough decision to reschedule our wedding, we were upset that COVID postponed our big wedding celebrations, but we were not going to let it postpone our lives. So we decided to still get legally married on our original wedding date of June 11, 2021. That decision was the easy part. The hard part was figuring out what that June 11th “Minimony” would look like. If you read my last blog post you’ll have learned that Mike and I think about things and situations VERY differently. So as you can imagine, the road to June 11th was an interesting one. At first, we were going to do a little ceremony in our backyard and have a big party with our friends and family after. We had bought an old “fixer-upper” home in the fall of 2020 that we still had a lot of work to do on-a lot of which probably would not be complete by June 11, 2021. In my head I thought “Great plan, we’ll say some vows in our backyard, get lots of alcohol, friends and family will come over and we will call it a day.” Boom. Done. After all, I had PLENTY of experience party planning as I used to throw an annual party in my Grandma’s backyard called “Grandma’s Daytona” inviting all our college friends over to day drink on her pool deck, AND I had just thrown Mike a successful “Mike-Tober Fest” Party at my apartment for Mike’s 30th birthday. How hard could throwing a wedding be?

I ordered koozies to match this Mike-Tober Fest poster and I swear I must have accidentally made more of those koozies than Jesus made loaves and fishes because every time I turn around there are more of them.
Grandma’s Dayton 2016: The year of the egg toss.

Well, for me life was beautiful there for a while but little did I know poor Mike was loosing sleep over the whole thing. After a few weeks he finally came to me to tell me how stressed he was. I tried to calm his nerves, reminding him that I’m basically an event planner with all my experience but then he was asking me all these questions about bathroom situations for people, electrical outlets, tents in case of rain, food, etc. to which I responded “What’s with all the questions?! We’ll get it figured out! The wedding is like months away!” (As you know I am a last minute person.) He was also stressed that our house was a construction zone. I told him that as our closest friends and family they should love us for us and not the state of our house. Plus maybe we’d get lucky and some people may be inspired to pick up a hammer or a paint brush while they were over and we’d get the place done a little quicker. My joke fell flat with my audience.

After many more conversations we finally decided to get married at the perfect place, a place that meant a lot to both of us-Sister Lakes, Michigan. I had been going up to Dewey Lake since I was a baby and Mike had been going up to Indian Lake for many years. Our parents were so gracious to offer their homes to us so we decided to make a weekend of it. We’d get married on Dewey Lake on Friday, June 11 and then hang out at Indian Lake on Saturday. We’d keep it to just our immediate family.

We were thrilled we had finally come up with a plan for our wedding. Mike immediately started creating his spreadsheet of various costs. I immediately started designing koozies for the weekend. I thought I’d be done after that. Well… I was wrong. Turns out that weddings, no matter how big or small, are a lot of work. And they are NOTHING like other parties. NOTHING.

Since I knew I had a a lot of work to do, at first I did what I like to call “productive procrastination.” I ordered sunglasses for everyone, commemorative beer mugs, Body Armor drinks for everyone’s next day hangovers, sent a lot of Snapchats and told A LOT of people about the koozies I ordered. Honestly I was ready to kick back and relax after ordering the koozies.

Turns out Mike likes bugs but only cute bugs.
Every time my hair air dries it resembles “Jesus Hair” so I can’t NOT send a Snapchat
Dewey Lake, Kathleen and Mike say “I Dewey” I mean the stars were aligned for us on that one!

But then as the day grew closer and closer my mom and sisters started asking me questions about flowers and decorations and what I was wearing. The phrase “It takes a village” is an understatement when it comes to me because without my family I do not think I would have made it this far in my life. They wanted to help make my day special, and will the little information I gave them, they helped make it the best day ever.

-When they asked what type of bouquet I wanted, all I said was, “I don’t know, I just don’t want to look like I’m holding a stalk of cauliflower.” And they found me a beautiful bouquet.

-When they asked what type of dress I wanted I said “Oh you know me, I could look good in a potato sack! Hahah Just kidding, I just don’t want to look like I’m making my first holy communion in my white dress.” Mike and I both look very young for our age-fold our hands and throw a rosary at us while we are dressed like that and we could easily be mistaken for making a different sacrament.

When it came to ordering dinner for the wedding I did do that one all on my own. (Excuse me while I pause to pat myself on the back). I used my skill of “making decisions based on doing zero research, only on if the person I’m talking to on the phone is nice to me.” So I called up a Mexican Restaurant near my parents’ lake house that I had never eaten at, really became besties with the girl on the phone, and the next thing I knew tacos were on the menu for the wedding! Looking back, I guess it was a little risky going with a place without ever sampling their food or knowing anyone that had ever sampled their food. Thank God that worked out because how awkward would that have been if everyone got food poisoning on my wedding day? Yikes.

When it came to decorations, my mom and I did make an attempt. We went to Michael’s Craft store and it was unfortunately very traumatic for me. Being in the fake flower and ribbon section of that store was my nightmare. Plus my mom kept using words like “tulle” and naming specific flowers like “peonies.” She might as well have been speaking a different language because I had no idea what she was talking about. “Mom!” I finally said probably too loudly “I HAVE NO IDEA THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! What kind of tool are you looking for? And stop naming flowers please! I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS STORE! WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?! THIS IS AWFUL WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FAKE FLOWERS!” After my breakdown, I was ready to get back to work. So I rolled up my sleeves, and called my friend Nancy and she and my friend Jan handled all the decorations. They made our little wedding setup look like something out of a magazine, it looked absolutely amazing!

As the wedding grew closer we got busier and busier. Mike was determined to stick to his excel spreadsheet list so every few days we’d check it. He was VERY CONCERNED about the garbage can situation so that was a line item and a topic of many conversations. It seemed like every time we’d talk about our little wedding he’d loop it back to the garbage can.

Mike: Ok so we have the tent, food, alcohol, now we just need to figure out the garbage can for dinner.
Me: What is your obsession with the garbage cans?!
Mike: Well… do your parents have outdoor garbage cans we can use? Where are people going to throw out their trash?
Me: I don’t know! Can’t we just tie those black garbage bags to the tent poles and people can throw their garbage there?
Mike: Oh no, no, no Kath! We can do that! Do you think I can fit one of the garbage cans we have in our garage in your back seat and drive it up?
Me: You are absolutely not putting a used garbage can that’s been sitting in our garage in the back seat of my car. That’s gross.
Mike: I’ll put a blanket on the seat so it won’t get dirty.
Me: No! If it’s that big of a deal we’ll buy a garbage can! It will be your first wedding gift from me to you.

I told him we would need to take a picture with our new garbage can, and of course we forgot. But as fate would have it, she snuck in to one of our wedding photos:

There she is, to the left in all her glory. With the tag still on. We splurged and went with the 50 gallon.

Once we got the garbage can situation figured out, I did question Mike’s “seven bags of tortilla chips” Excel line item but then he started going off on a long winded math spiel and I got bored and asked him to stop and I just said “Ok seven bags of chips sounds good to me.”

Once we finally had everything ready it was time to drive up to Michigan for the big day. The night before I stayed with my parents and Mike stayed with his. I thought it might be cute for me and my dad to watch the movie “Father of the Bride” but he said “Nah, I’ve seen that movie before!” and that was that. In typically Kelly family “Wait until the last minute” fashion we were still getting our house ready for the wedding until late at night. We had been meaning to hang up family photos since my parents’ bought the lake house three years ago, but what better time to be hammering in some frames than at 10 p.m. the night before a wedding?!

I think the junk we constantly have on the counter really compliments the family photos.
A garbage can free car ride up to Michigan but my mom ate a Nature Valley Granola Bar in my car getting crumbs everywhere!
We went to go pick up our rings (It was on the spreadsheet) and Mike’s 2003 car we affectionately call “Doris the Taurus” broke down in the parking lot. I’m sure the Jewelry store owner was a little worried our check was gonna bounce after seeing us get our car towed. But it all worked out. Doris ended up being ok. I think she was just a little jealous about Mike being with another woman.

June 11, 2021 finally arrived and it was awesome. My Godfather, my Uncle Tom, officiated the ceremony. (I’ve been calling him Father Tom since). My Dad walked me down the “aisle.” My nieces and nephews served as flower girls and ring bearers (good thing they can use this “minimony” as practice for the big show in September because not going to lie their form needs some work) Both our Mothers did readings. Mike’s Godmother, his Aunt Mary led us in Grace at Dinner. The weather was scalding hot for everyone else but perfect for me (I don’t do well in the cold and I hate wind-the day was very hot and we had no breeze). What a day it was!

It was the first wedding neither of us got carded at.
Mike gave the ring bearers and flower girls candy when they got down the aisle. To my disappointment, I did not receive any candy when I got to the end of the aisle.
So Glad the Honda Mini Van got in this pic-it has 16 cupholders. It was very important to me that the mini van was included in our special day.
I most likely had said something really funny.
Everyone who helped us celebrate except the garbage can
Mike and Mo Money graciously gave their Tech Support aka me, the night off in order to get married.
The Montag Brothers looking sharp!
Mike and Mo Money’s Five Blessings
There is always time for a game of fives.
Father/Godfather/Uncle Tom. If you’re looking to book him for your Christmas masses, his schedule fills up quickly.
Laughing because they aren’t our kids and we can give them back to their parents when the photo is done being taken. Just kidding I really love them all.
Me and all the Mikes!

After a while I had to put a stop to all the photos because I had literally had enough. The photographer wanted us to do all these poses in different spots, doing weird stuff like gazing into each others eyes, or Mike whispering in my ear and I finally had to tell her “Yea, listen, this is unnatural for us. We don’t do this and we aren’t going to order these photos.” Mike and I are very real people, so we just don’t do the “foo-foo” photos, as my Dad calls it. The one photo we took of Mike “Whispering in my ear” he looks like he’s creeping on me and that did give us a good laugh so we actually may print that one out. After the 8 million photos we were finally able to have celebratory drinks, dinner and go on a boat ride.

The next day the celebrations continued as the Montags graciously hosted us on Indian Lake. We had a blast at the sand bar.

Not pictured: The numerous bottles of sunscreen that were on the boat. The real MVPs of that day.

Our mini wedding was truly an unforgettable weekend. COVID postponed our big wedding but I still got to marry my best friend on our original date. Blessed and lucky-that is what we are. We had so much fun getting married, we can’t wait to get married again in September!

And my niece Ciara perfectly captured how everyone felt the Monday morning after the wedding weekend…

We Will Weather The Storm

Recently, my fiancĂ© Mike and I had to make the difficult decision to postpone our wedding due to COVID restrictions, something brides and grooms today are all too familiar with. We planned to have our wedding on June 11, 2021 and now have pushed it back to September 17, 2021 in the hopes that COVID might read the room a little and make an exit. The two of us reacted to this change in very different ways: One of us cried and asked the other (dramatically through tears) if we could please get a dog to help cope with the trauma, and the other just began updating the eight million spreadsheets they had created for the wedding. After reading this, maybe you’ll be able to figure out who was who in that situation.

Really nice of COVID to let us get engaged but then it pulled a fast one on us and decided it didn’t want us to get married.

I think the saying “opposites attract” applies pretty well to Mike and me. Mike needs to have everything planned out, organized, neat and tidy and he does things WAY in advanced. I, on the other hand, live my life by the wise words my brother once told me when I was a freshman in college and he was a senior in college-both of us at the University of Dayton. Those words were “If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute.” (He told me this when I was trying to decide between going to a party and finishing a paper I had due the next morning….I won’t say what I did, but I will say I still got the paper done.) I don’t plan things out, my organizational skills need work and I procrastinate a bit on things in my life. Mike is a realist and I am an optimist. I love Dunkin’ coffee and he prefers Starbucks. Mike is a numbers and data guy and I am more of a “Where are the pretty pictures? These numbers and text on this page are boring me” type person. Mike likes to research and read reviews of things before making a purchase, I am more of an impulse shopper/buyer. When it came to planning our wedding and choosing different vendors, we had two different approaches. Mike liked to call various companies and compare prices. I value my time and “Go with my gut” when choosing things. A few months ago, when we were trying to find a hotel for our wedding guests, I told Mike that I’d take on the task of finding a hotel and blocking rooms for our out of town guest to stay. Being the planner that he is, Mike took the lead with a lot of our wedding planning, which was TOTALLY fine with me, but I thought I’d offer some assistance on this. Guess I was feeling extra generous that day or something. “Hmmm I don’t know Kath,” Mike said. “I appreciate the offer but I’d like to actually price out hotels and if you do it you’re going to call the first hotel you Google, come back to me and say excitedly, ‘So! I called this place and the guy on the phone sounded really nice! So I think I’m going to go with them!’ and I don’t want to have to tell you no.” I just laughed because his impression of me was spot on and I would have 100% done that.

Photo from when Old Man Montag made us get to the airport 6 days before our flight.
Mike had his guest list all set in a spreadsheet and sent me mine to complete. I definitely procrastinated but made the deadline.

In addition to our different personalities, Mike and I grew up differently. Mike is the oldest and has one brother, I am the fourth of five children (Middle child survivor). His family used coasters and my family did not. (Our coasters were the constant layer of dust on side tables-nature’s coaster). My family bought in bulk (and yet fed us as if it was still the Great Depression and food rations were still a thing) and his didn’t. Mike’s parents bought him proper athletic gear for sports, whereas my parents knew they’d be wasting money on me and made me use hand-me-downs from my older siblings or just said “I’m not buying you those expensive foo-foo soccer shoes you’ll use for a month and then I’ll be tripping over them in the basement for the rest of the year!” (direct quote from my Dad). Mike was allowed to have any type of pop-tart he wanted for breakfast-Oreo, chocolate, s’more you name it! Whereas in our family we could only have the brown sugar ones or strawberry because those were the “healthy” pop-tarts. (He still brags about this.)

This difference in upbringing has led to some interesting experiences and conversations in our relationship, including “the great pickle jar debate of 2019” when I picked out a pickle jar that was apparently “Gigantic” according to Mike. (I thought it was a normal size). And he thought it was pretty funny when I told him that when I was little and played soccer, whenever the referee would line everyone up to check and make sure everyone had proper shin-guards and spikes on before the game, as soon as everyone would turn to show their fancy soccer spikes I would bend down and pretend I was tying my shoe because I didn’t have any. This was just common practice for me growing up.

Here you can see I’m hiding my improper shoes behind the soccer ball as my eyes scream “I’m cold, it’s early take the picture already.”

Not all our conversations are ridiculous ones though. We definitely had some important conversations before deciding we were going to spend the rest of our lives together:

  • We discussed how we would never EVER go camping-we are NOT “outdoor people”-I have no tolerance for cold weather and we don’t like to get our shoes/clothes dirty.
  • We discussed how we will never let our future children play a musical instrument because neither of us are musically talented so we DO NOT want to have to sit and listen to them practice in our home. Or worse-have to attend some sort of concert or recital they may be in. Exception to the rule would be if they had some sort of headphone plugged into the instrument so we wouldn’t have to suffer. If our children have to play the recorder at school I may even have to try and get a doctor’s note to excuse them from bringing that noise gun home. We don’t want that in our home.
  • We will NEVER EVER go to Disney World-crowds, long lines, many of the characters creep me out, the hot sun-talk about our NIGHTMARE! Plus we don’t like rollercoasters. They are too “jolting” for me and Mike just doesn’t like them.
We went to Florida and spent our future children’s college fund on this emergency umbrella from CVS. Sorry kids, we burn easily.
Went to a party and there was a guitar there and I picked it up as a joke and pretended like I knew how to play and then people started coming into the room thinking I was actually putting on a little concert so then I had to fake it and I chose to sing and play the song “American Pie” which was a huge mistake because that is an eight minute song.
Would Disney World or a camp ground pay for dry-cleaning if our clothes got dirty? I don’t think so. We’ll stay away thank you very much.
Our idea of outdoor activity is hanging outside liquor stores waiting for our Uber to pick us up. We’d never survive a weekend camping. And yes, we got carded.

But I think one of the most important conversations came after we purchased a home together (home purchase ordeal will have to be a whole other blog post). We were driving back to our house and Mike said to me, “Kath, I have a very serious question to ask you, and I hope I know your answer but I need your full attention.” I paused the music, turned to him and said, “Ok, I’m ready.” I could tell Mike was a bit nervous and struggled to find the words, but he finally said, “Would you ever want to host a garage sale at our new home?” I grabbed his hand and said, “Michael, absolutely not! Do you not know me at all?” “Thank GOD!” He said relieved” But I continued. “Do you know how much work garage sales are? All the PLANNING that goes into them? Can you really see me organizing a garage sale? Pricing everything out, sorting through things. Ugh! I’m getting anxious just thinking about it!” “Yea you would never do that I don’t know what I was thinking,” Mike said. I continued on my rant: “And THEN after all that AWFUL sorting you have to sit there in the hot sun on a WEEKEND while people come look at our junk? You think I’d give up a weekend for that?” “But what if it turns out our block does one of those big garage sales where every house on the street does a sale?” Mike asked. “Well,” I said with a sigh, “We’d have no other choice but to sell the house I guess.”

Despite all our differences, Mike and I are very much the same. We are both old souls. We love our Dateline and murder shows. We both love Propel and automatically rate a restaurant higher if they have bread on the the table. The two of us have the most random conversations all the time and we share in the same sense of humor. We value and appreciate our differences but also make fun of each other for them, and that is what I think makes us the perfect match. Together, we always have fun and always have a lot of laughs-usually at the other’s expense. As hard as it’s been trying to plan a wedding during COVID, it’s been 100 times easier with my lifelong best friend, Mike. (Talking about my fiancĂ© Mike here, I feel like I need to clarify since I have a lot of family members named Mike. Also, just saying, things may have been 200 times easier with Mike AND a dog, but who will ever know because no one loves me and won’t buy me a dog) While we we were crushed to have to postpone our wedding from our original date of June 11th to September 17th, we’re hopeful that the COVID cloud will not be raining on our wedding plans anymore. But if it does, I know that together, we’ll weather the storm.

Always a great feeling when your shoes and socks get wet.
Fell asleep during this Dateline but I am going to go ahead and guess that the husband did it.
Maintaining more than six feet apart, just to be safe, as we work from home.
We appreciate a solid mini van with ample cup holders.